One Door Opens as Another Closes
by SeaChanter
Summary: Resolution and new beginnings


**_One Door Opens as Another Closes_**  
Spoilers for Season 9 and 10 of SG-1

Title: One Door Opens as Another Closes

Author: SeaChanter

Categories: Drama/Friendship

Rating: T

Pairing: Sam Carter/Cam Mitchell

Spoilers: Spoilers for Season 9 and 10 of SG-1

Season: Season 10

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions and any legal entity which think they have a piece of SG. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. Previously unrecognized characters, places and this story are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Archive: Please do not archive anywhere without the author's permission.

Copyright (c) 2006 SeaChanter

Author's Note: My love to my editors, Marianne H. Stillie And Tels.

One Door Opens as Another Closes

* * *

Sam was sitting at her desk, remembering what she overheard when Cam Mitchell had been talking to General Landry a few days ago. 

She'd been surprised, even more, by the sadness in his voice. Sadness and frustration. She had been more surprised than embarrassed overhearing what was a private conversation.

When she had transferred to Area 51 she had not planned on coming back to the SGC. She missed the gate travel more than she expected, but it was more of a relief to be out of the pressure cooker she felt she had been in for so many years.

Just before General O'Neill had left for Washington (Jack, she smiled at herself) the two of them had finally sat down and talked about how they felt about each other. It had been a difficult conversation, but they had realized they had held onto the memories of each other as a way to avoid commitment outside SGC. They both lived inside that insane pressure cooker for so many years the warped view it gave them both was as if the idea of 'someday' for the two of them had been the reality.

Her relationship with Pete and his affair with Kerry had actually happened for the wrong reasons. Neither relationship would have worked out; both partners were not right for them.

They each had been trying to find something outside of the implied relationship they had with each other because by then the two had given up hope, not being able to pull back enough to see how they really felt about each other.

Sam and Jack had even had a short affair with each other right before he left and they both realized that while there was attraction and passion, it was based on love and not being in love. They both rediscovered the trust and friendship they had been forging those first two or three years, before they had both gone somewhat insane.

Sam had returned to SGC from Area 51 because Jack had called and asked her to. He said things were still so up in the air there he wanted her to help balance out Cam Mitchell's newness to the program. He also told her that her experience with the Goa'uld would be invaluable against the Ori.

Sam really did not want to return but she didn't want to say no to O'Neill. She knew both Daniel and Teal'c had wanted to explore different things. Teal'c felt he was needed on Chulak much more than he was needed at SGC. She knew Daniel had wanted to go to Atlantis and there had been serious complications that had caused that trip to go out the window.

She wasn't sure what she was getting herself into, but after being back just a few weeks she regretted saying 'yes' to Jack. She felt as if her presence was barely tolerated.

While she respected and even liked General Landry, she felt he negated all her experience with the Stargate program and even more her ability to lead SG-1. He never discussed the team's leadership. It was as if she had never led SG-1 in his eyes.

Worse than that she felt alienated from her two former and present team members. She missed her friendship with Daniel bitterly. It was as if a chasm had separated them and she didn't know how to cross it. She had never been as close to Teal'c, but she felt as if he did not feel she belonged anymore.

Things had worsened in the year she had been back, but Jack kept telling her he trusted her to hang in, and do her normal best for the team, as well as in the science labs.

One of the reasons she had left in the first place was the now unforgettable memory of her father dying in SGC. She thought she could at least deal with that after all this time, but the first time she was in the room where he died, she had almost collapsed and wanted to just run right to the surface to get away.

She knew much of her unhappiness was due to her own inability to adjust to all the changes. She knew she needed to find her way out of that.

The only time her heart had sung was when the break in the multiverse had happened and Martouf, albeit a different one, had returned to her. She had desperately wanted him to stay, and for them to have the chance which had been ripped from her so many years ago. She found his new, to her, maturity soothing to her soul.

She knew she could not have asked him to stay; he had his life in his universe, and as much as his leaving had almost broken her again, she knew he had to. She was just glad he had understood her need to find the closure she had been denied when her Martouf had died. If he had stayed, it would have been difficult to divorce herself from the man she had known and the man who had lived and whose life had taken such a different path.

And now, at a moment she had decided she needed to talk to Landry about transferring out no matter the threat the Ori were to Earth, she had overheard Mitchell's comment and realized how little she had paid attention to how he was adjusting and how distant she had kept herself from him, adding to his unhappiness.

She decided she was going to make a move to see if she could heal the breech between them and hopefully to make him feel more wanted.

The following day she saw him in the hallway at shift's end and decided she was going to just jump right in.

"Cam," she called, attracting his attention. "I was wondering if you had nothing to do this evening, perhaps we could go out and get some dinner. I've been getting sick of my cooking, or non cooking, if the truth be told."

Cam stood there for a moment with a bit of a grin then asked Sam, "Last choice, eh?"

"No, actually, you are my first choice."

"Ok, Sam, sounds like a plan," he said, breaking out into a big grin, after cocking his head to the side and looking at her for a minute. "Where do you want to meet?"

"O'Malley's," Sam blurted out. "Good place for a couple of drinks and they have great food. How about say, in an hour or so. I want to get out of these BDUs"

"Good idea. I'll see you in just over an hour. I'll be the one holding up part of the bar with my beer bottle."

Sam burst out with a laugh, feeling she'd made the right choice and just at the right time. "See you then."

She decided to shower and change at SGC, to save some time. She changed into the jeans and shirt she had there and threw her leather jacket on, since it was a cool night.

Sam hit it lucky and pulled into a parking space that had just been vacated right near the front door. She looked around the parking lot and saw Cam's car there, so she knew to check the bar area first.

She walked into the noisy bar and didn't see Cam at first. Then she saw him stand up at one of the small tables in the bar area and wave her over.

She walked over, watching him break out into a big grin. "You know, Sam, I've been here a couple of times with some other friends from the base, but this is the first time with a team member. Besides, I was under the impression, based on all the stories I've been regaled with, the team was not really welcome here"

Sam stopped for a second and thought about when she had been here last. 'You know, I haven't been here since before I left for Nevada. Before that, Daniel, Teal'c and I had come here a few times. I think with the General going General and then to Washington we didn't make as big an impression as we did when the General did come with us." They both broke out into a good laughing fit.

Right then, the waiter came up and asked Sam what she wanted. She decided on a beer, and heard Cam order a second one for himself.

"I see you've picked up the lingo quickly," Sam said, referring to how the Gate got mentioned in public.

'Yeah, the boys filled me in right quick. I figured out right away that even if the place was a 'favorite' we still had our own lingo in use."

Sam picked up her beer, took a long drink, then looked directly at Cam. "I know I haven't been the best team member. There's been so much going on in my head I forgot you came into something with its own dynamics, and I've never really done much to make you feel welcome. I've been wrapped up in my own feeling about all the changes I forgot you might feel uncomfortable or not welcome."

Cam reached over and took Sam's hand. "Darlin', you've been nothing but gracious and professional in your manner towards me."

"That's it, I forgot the human component, and I want to tell you I'm sorry I've kept you at such a distance."

Cam shrugged. "How about we make a pact? From now on we do better at the friends part?"

Sam broke out into a beaming smile. "I think that sounds like a plan," as they both picked up their beer bottles and clinked them together in a toast.

"To new beginnings," Cam added.

They both sat there for a few minutes, each playing with their beer bottles, both having no idea what to say next. Finally, Cam broke the silence by saying, "How about we move to one of the dining tables and order some food."

Sam looked up as if she had forgotten Cam was even there. "I have a better idea. Let's order what we want as take-out and go back to my place. I even have a stupid six-pack of beer sitting in my fridge along with all the other non-food items that I seem to keep there. As nice a place as this is, we have to be so careful what we talk about it'd be hard to just relax and talk about whatever we want to."

Cam gave her a bit of a surprised look, but quickly realized she meant 'talk' and only talk. He also felt she was right. They needed somewhere they could just relax, with no constraints and to her, her place was the most comfortable and familiar. While he was thrilled to be making a breakthrough with another SG-1 member, he could tell there were things on her mind, and wanted to give her a chance to bring any of them up. Something told him she needed a friend right then just as he needed to get to know her better.

"Sounds like another good plan, Sam," as he waved the waiter over.

After she unlocked and opened her door, she waved him inside, with a comfortable looking smile. He put the take out bags on the floor, took his jacket off and put it on a hook right where she put hers. Sam then waved him in the direction of the kitchen and told him she'd be back in a moment. "I want to check my phone messages. Just take a beer out of the fridge, and take one out for me, ok?" He nodded, grabbed the food bags and headed in the direction she had pointed out. He'd been in her house once before, with the rest of SG-1, so he was glad he remembered in which direction the kitchen was.

He thought he heard General O'Neill's voice on her machine, but shrugged that off as either he was mistaken, or better still, it wasn't his business.

Sam walked into the kitchen, saw the beer bottles out and open, and saw Cam going through some of her kitchen cabinets and drawers. He noticed her, gave her one of his best puppy dog smiles and told her he figured he'd look for napkins and silverware.

She broke into a big laugh and told him, "Hey, sometimes I'm not sure where I keep that stuff. Usually I just eat out of whatever container I have food in and normally ask for plastic forks and knives."

He laughed with her, put the silverware and napkins onto her kitchen island and grabbed the beer bottles, putting his on the opposite side of the counter. They sat down and began to eat.

They talked mostly about small things, such as what sports did each like. He discovered they both liked baseball, but were not the type to go nuts if they missed a televised game. They talked about what books they'd each like to read if they had more time. They were pleased to discover they both had interest in the same science fiction and mystery books. He mentioned he had a couple he had already read that she hadn't yet and offered to bring them to base next time so she could borrow them.

When they finished eating, she asked if he'd like some coffee. Since he was on his fourth beer of the evening, he figured it would be a good idea. He insisted on helping her clear the meal away, since he didn't want to give more of a formal attitude to how things were going. "Hey, where I come from, my female relatives would hit me aside my head if I didn't help. No free meals and lording it over the 'women folk' with the men just sitting back and doing nothing."

They laughed together and she pushed him in the direction of living room, saying she'd bring the coffee in.

He wandered around the room a bit, mostly taking in the pictures she had displayed. He saw her with various members of SG-1, mostly group shots, but also with each member separately. She had some candid shots taken by other members, usually of her and Jackson, which surprised him a bit. He'd seen a professional manner between the two of them, but never anything as in the pictures; some laughing at each other, some very serious as they looked over something found on whatever planet they were on. The sense was always of something very strong held them together, There were a couple of her and General O'Neill, but less than he expected to find. Somehow he had thought they were closer than the 'regs' had allowed. He wasn't about to ask about THAT.

He saw pictures of her with a short, dark haired woman, sometimes with a young girl at different ages. He recognized the woman as Dr. Janet Fraiser, and recognized the pictures of Cassie.

He saw pictures of her with an older man in a Tok'ra uniform. He knew that was her father, as he had seen pictures of him before.

He saw she had one picture over on a bookshelf by itself, in a corner of the shelf. He recognized a much younger Martouf than the one he'd met during the Ripple Effect incident, but when he looked closely he was surprised at the intensity of the glance between the two of them. Someone had taken it while they were standing in one of the corridors, each holding both of the others hands. He knew from mission reports Martouf had helped them rescue Sam's father (or the other way around, the report was actually vague about that) when Jacob was a prisoner on Netu. He also knew Sam had killed Martouf; and that she had disappeared for six weeks after that tragic incident. Rumor and gossip had run rampant in SGC when Martouf had come with one of the Effect teams, but other than the fact they had spent time together working on the problem and probably had spent some private time alone, none of the rumors seem to mesh and he had no idea what really had happened. No one who had been at SGC at that earlier time added to the rumor mill. It was as if they were all protecting Sam.

He heard Sam walking toward the living room, but he decided it would not be fair to go quickly sit on the couch and pretend he had not been looking at the pictures. He turned to look at her when she came in carrying the coffee tray and quickly went over to help her. She thanked him with a smile and he saw the smile had reached her eyes. That shook him up, as he had barely seen her smile, let alone her eyes light up. He felt proud he'd helped her feel comfortable enough for that to happen. 'Maybe this idea of trying to get to know each other better was going to work out better than I expected', he thought to himself.

They sat on her couch, with their coffee, and even talked about watching a DVD as it was earlier than they had originally thought their dinner time would be over.

Then Sam suddenly got very serious and put her coffee cup down. Cam wondered if he had accidentally said something incorrect.

Sam looked up at him, "Cam, I owe you an apology. I overheard your conversation with General Landry when I was on my way to talk to him about transferring out of SGC. When I heard what you said, I realized I'd been wallowing in my own unhappiness I never saw how hard you were trying to fit in and how much you felt you were not."

Cam put his cup down and leaned over to embrace Sam. "oh, darlin', I've been so wrapped up in my feelings of not belonging I didn't even try to understand why you never looked happy. No, I owe you the apology."

Cam looked at her, resettled her so she was sitting with her head on his shoulder, his one arm around her shoulders and sighed. "Did you know I didn't know until just before the Ori supergate that you had never been asked to lead SG-1, even though you had for almost a year? I just assumed you had turned it down and I wound up in whatever charge because you did"

Sam looked at him, in literal shock, "How could you not know? That's part of what has been tearing me apart. That I didn't get offered the command when I came back. As if my contribution had been nothing."

Cam hugged her closer, and said, "I am so sorry. I took what was yours away and I didn't even know I was. I remember your visiting me in the hospital, and I could barely understand what you were telling me. I was so out of it. I guess there's a lot I assumed I knew and I really don't. I don't know how you and Jackson and Teal'c interact, I don't know the subtleties of most of your missions, and that's my fault, in a way. I never felt I was allowed to ask. As if I did, I'd be shut down."

Sam sighed, "I guess we've both been holding a lot back, and making assumptions based on almost nothing. Most of our missions are just that, straight missions. We relied on each other to do what needed doing, and so much of it became instinct having been together for so long."

Sam continued, "I didn't listen on purpose, but I'm glad I did. As I said, it made me realize I was avoiding you, as a possible friend as well as a leader."

Cam stopped for a few moments, thinking. "OK, let's see, I'm a hugger. I like that, and I haven't even asked if that makes you feel uncomfortable."

Sam looked up at him and said, "You know, this is the first time in I don't even know how long since I've been hugged by a friend. I felt as if I had to put so many walls up now to keep from just wanting to be a friend and to feel a friendly touch. I feel as if everything around me has changed so much and I am so far in the cold it was becoming impossible for me to even consider staying here."

Cam looked at her, again. "Glad you don't mind the hugging. It's been a long time since I've felt comfortable just doing that." He shrugged. "That's just part of who I am." He smiled down at Sam.

Cam decided to jump right in. If he could convince Sam to talk about something big in her background, pertaining to the SGC, maybe it'd help the two of them to understand what was going on now, and how to repair some of it.

"Sam, tell me about Martouf. I know he was part of your first contact with the Tok'ra. I know from the reports you were host to a Tok'ra for a short time, but I don't know anything about that, or how it related to the Tok'ra and why Martouf went on a couple of SG-1 missions." He stopped and took a deep breath. "It's black and white in those reports you had to kill him and why, but I saw the two of you together when we had that multiverse incident and how you two related to each other."

He felt Sam stiffen and pull away from him. He carefully removed his arm from her shoulder and just took her hand, lightly. He saw the anguish on her face and realized she was close to crying. He let her get control of herself and decide what to tell him.

Her voice sounded so far away as she began to talk again. He had to concentrate to hear her. "What you probably didn't pick up from mission reports is that Jack hated the Tok'ra from first meeting and he hated Martouf most of all. My 'blending' with Jolinar was not consensual. She used me, against all Tok'ra standards and morality, to escape from an assassin. When he did catch up with her, when she was in me, she did her very best to protect me from dying with her when she was killed. The problem was she left me with her memories and it took me almost too long to be able to separate her leftover feelings from mine.

"Because of that, when I remembered the location of one of the Tok'ra base and we took the chance of going there, I was faced with Martouf, who had been Jolinar's mate for longer than I've been alive, it sent me into a tailspin. When we finally took my dad to the Tok'ra and he agreed to blend with Selmak, Martouf was there, but as a way to help us understand what was going to happen as well as to monitor the blending process. With Jolinar she totally forced the blend. You know the base was attacked while the blending was happening; I know that's in the reports, but you might not know Martouf, my dad and I almost didn't make it back to the SGC."

Her voice trailed off after that and she kept looking as if she was still seeing far into her past. Cam did nothing to force her to continue, just squeezing her hand slightly to let her know he was still there and listening.

She finally continued. "Jack was never able to divorce Jolinar's actions from how the Tok'ra actually functioned. You see, on top of everything else, I, or Jolinar, had threatened to harm Cassie when she realized I had a symbiote. That was a present Nirrti left with Cassie and eventually one of the gifts Jolinar left with me; the ability to sense naquadah in the blood of another person. He never trusted the Tok'ra completely and in the long run some of that distrust did help when we ran into problems with them, but it also fueled those same problems.

"He hated Martouf because he thought he saw Martouf pushing me, What really happened was Martouf was trying to separate his feelings for me from what he had felt for Rosha, the host, and Jolinar. We were tremendously attracted to each other and it was like we were going through a minefield trying to decide what were my feelings and what were those Jolinar left."

Sam got up, walked to her bookcase and picked up the picture she had of her and Martouf. She continued. "We had just about worked out our differences and decided what we wanted from each other was the same thing, and had nothing to do with Jolinar when I had to kill him. He begged me to, to let him die with his honor intact. It was the last gift I could give him, but it broke me."

She stopped and looked back at Cam. "You know I disappeared for six weeks. I know it's in the reports I was on leave. I wasn't. The Tok'ra came and took me to where Martouf was in stasis. I was so sunk in guilt and despair I couldn't even function. Jack hated Martouf for having that hold on me, and by extension it deepened his hatred of the Tok'ta.

"It also sent the two of us, personally, into a situation where Jack felt he had to keep his hold over me, as a member of his team.

"We finally adjusted to that and functioned, and then Daniel died. I almost gave up, because it felt as if those two losses in my life were too much. Daniel was my best friend. Jack never really recovered from Daniel's dying, ascending, and leaving us. When Jonas Quinn came in Jack took all his anger out on Jonas. He hated Jonas because he was not Daniel. When Daniel descended and we found him, he had no memories of any of us, but Jack was afraid to totally welcome Daniel back and the rift that had been building between Jack and Daniel before Daniel ascended never really healed. I think Jonas was happy to go back to his own home, vindicated, just to get out of the middle of the whole mess."

Cam stopped Sam at that point. "Wait a sec. I've seen Jonas around SGC. I didn't realize he hadn't been around before I came in. Another thing I had no idea about."

"Yeah, it's been long enough for him to feel comfortable returning occasionally to help out with some missions. He hasn't been back for a bit, because of the Ori. His planet is at risk as are so many others. He has the vaccine formula so if they are attacked his people can swing into action quickly, and he's needed there now. Another friend I miss.

"You know, Cam, we're not all just a bunch of messed up people. We know our mission and we try as hard as we can. It's just so many of the reasons I wanted to be part of SGC and SG-1 are so different, it's as if I don't want to adapt. In addition, that's hurting not only me and the team, but you, too. I know Daniel now has a whole bunch of goals for this war and he's fixated on them, but, damn, I MISS my best friend." Sam's shoulders slumped, and her voice sounded as if she wanted to cry.

Cam walked over to where she was standing. He quietly told Sam, "I know it can't be easy for you to discuss most of this with someone you barely know, and the person who took your place, but thank you, for taking the chance."

Sam turned around and gave Cam a big hug. "I'm glad I did. I'm hoping this will make you feel as if you understand us a bit more. And not feel so alienated. Hey, I promised you a movie and popcorn. How about you go see what you'd like to watch and I'll go make popcorn."

Cam grinned and walked over to the DVD shelves. He had a feeling this was something Sam also used to do with Daniel, Teal'c and Jack. He hadn't asked her why she called the General Jack now, but figured maybe she'd tell him when she was ready.

Sam came back with the popcorn just as he had selected two movies. One a complete action movie, another one more of a drama. They had a few moments of good natured squabbling before settling on the drama.

Cam sat on the floor in from of the sofa, and beckoned Sam to join him with a bit of a laugh and a gleam in his eyes. As she settled in and started the DVD, he grabbed a good handful of popcorn and smiled inside.

Maybe this was a good breakthrough, for both of them.

FIN  
Sept 26,2006, edited


End file.
